Happiness
As humans, many of us carry around a fundamental
dissatisfaction and boredom. This feeling may not be often, but at some time or
another we feel that life is just a bit flat.
We all have different ideas of what happiness is. Some
believe it’s a successful career, starting a family, or even buying an
expensive new car. So why is it when we achieve the things we believe are the
route to our happiness, we still carry a sense of displeasure? Are we looking
for happiness in the wrong place?
In a recent survey of 200’000, 70% of people in the UK
said they were generally pretty satisfied with their life, although this was
matched with 60.1% who said they often felt anxious. Overall, life satisfaction
in the UK has dropped since 2007-2012 from 7.15-6.89 out of 10. So what is it
that lingers over our happiness?
Psychologist DR Gordon
Livingston says, “in the modern
world we think happiness comes from the outside. For example obtaining money or
status gives us pleasure releasing Neurochemicals. Behaviours that produce these chemically-induced
feelings are then reinforced and repeated which explains why many of us believe
happiness is driven by things such as money or power.
Student Sophie Holding, 21 says, “I often feel pressure
from family, tutors, and friends who have expectations of me to pass
university, go straight into a career, drive the latest car, to wear the
trendiest clothes. As we get older the
expectations only seem to get higher. Even when I have achieved a high grade,
saved up to buy my own car, or even bagged an important internship, there is still
this lingering of worry/doubt in the back of my mind as if there is something
else I need to do.”
Livingston “The standard of
living has increased over the past 50 years and we often find ourselves
comparing/competing with those who appear to have it ‘better’ than us. However
unhappiness is actually largely driven by the thought chatter in our minds. Our urge to draw attention outside
ourselves in instinctive and we are vaguely aware of doing it. When our minds
are not distracted we feel uncomfortable and more often than not we generate
unnecessary worries and doubts making us feel dissatisfied.
So how can we learn to control
this thought chatteris we aren’t even aware of doing it?
- Dwelling
over past situations/memories
- Worrying
about the future or distant plans
- Visualising
our fears
- Creating
negative scenarios however realistic/unrealistic
- Involuntary
thinking – compulsive inner monologue disturbing our peace
- Over analysing situations/people/reactions
·
Reduce your dependencies on
distractions such as Television/internet and learn to rest inside your own
mind.
·
Change the negative tone of
your thoughts by replacing/challenging them with positive ones
·
Meditate for 20 minutes a day,
or involve yourself in other ‘meditative’ activities such as running, swimming
or even being in contact with nature.
Once we begin to find peace
the in our minds and experience contentment, we can begin to appreciate the things
we have rather than compare/analyse them with others.”